The Ying and Yang of Relationships

As I consider my relationships and those of the people I am closest to (both romantic and friendships) a lot of the discord comes from someone, possibly with good intentions, pushing us to do things. Perhaps it’s to be better at something, or because they need support, or maybe some other reason. 

Some pushing is good. Often the nudging of someone who knows us well can help us realize things and get moving. I have a good friend who gets me so well that 99% of the time I take her advice, even when I disagree with her. And she’s usually right. I’d venture to say she trusts me as much.

There are other people, and I can be this way too, who want us to do things because it seems good to them. Not necessarily in a bad way, we have things in common and probably if they weren’t pushing so hard we’d want to do it. But because they are pushing, it makes us tense and not enjoy ourselves.

I feel like the people I get along best with are the ones where the relationship is balanced. There’s not too much of one person feeling like they are giving into the pushy person.  If we have to push someone so hard to be what we want we probably need to spread out and make some new friends that will share that interest. 

Have you experienced this before? How have you handled it? Have you told the other person they were being pushy and were they able to change?

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