It seems like there are certain worries we are prone to at certain points in our lives.
I remember being in high school and feeling like I had know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. This feeling did not go away during college. I had the hardest time choosing a major. I didn’t even want to stay in school, it felt pointless since I didn’t know what I wanted to study. But it seemed my chances of getting somewhere would be better staying in college.
Then for two years after I graduated, I was still trying to figure this out. I searched the Internet, I looked at occupation descriptions in the reference section of the library. I took quizzes, I tried to figure out the color of my parachute. Finally, I looked back on the various jobs I had and based my future on the one I liked best, which was working at a college. It worked out well.
Then by my late twenties not having a relationship upset me. My two best friends were both in serious relationships and I hadn’t even dated anyone I really liked since I was twenty. I spent a lot of time hoping and praying for someone. It’s hard when you see people around you with someone and you wonder why you can’t have that too. And then they start having kids and you hold their babies and you just have to have one.
Now I’m in my mid-thirties, and I am very content being single. I tell people if I get married my husband will have his own house or at least his own room. Hopefully I’m joking…I’m not really sure. I like being able to do what I want when I want. Most of my friends are a little older and single now. If they have kids they are older, so they can do whatever they want also. I can’t recall feeling lonely in that way I used to in my twenties.
That’s not to say I don’t have a desire to be in love or meet someone who will be so awesome I will want to share a room with one day. It just means I’m happy now and if I don’t get sad about it like I used to, I know whatever comes in the next phase in five or ten years will be good…it’s only been getting better.
I am writing this because I have a friend who is sad about being single now. She recently went on vacation and met a couple that seemed happier together than any couple she experienced. This moved her deeply and she is dealing with her feelings now (which she hates). Nothing can really stop the feeling, but we can realize there are things we deal with and we will get through, despite how bleak things seem at the moment.
It’s like setting out to run on the treadmill for half an hour. If we’re not used to it, there will be a point where we don’t think we can make it, but it’s only for a finite amount of time. Even though in life we don’t know how long the difficult time will last, we’re having normal reactions to our circumstances and psychological development. So we will transcend this difficulty and we can look back on it like other things we’ve overcome.