Humility

I have often prayed the prayer of humility. It’s such a noble aspiration, but proving you’ve got the stuff is painful.

I faced a difficulty for two years. I was a moment away from walking away from the situation when things unexpectedly took a turn for the better. I said my piece once again, but finally I was heard…and understood. The resolution is still in progress. Like I am climbing out of the Grand Canyon — the ascent has been a slow, steep journey, but the dark chasm is behind me.

Now I can see I was tested in almost every way mentioned in the prayer for humility: I was forgotten, ignored, and wronged. I was no longer being honored, praised, preferred, and consulted like I was accustomed.

I wish I handled the test more gracefully because I was not at all graceful. Jesus suffered these injustices to the point of death, I couldn’t unite my own minor suffering to His even slightly. But now, the awareness of having endured the trial provides solace. Since the Holy Spirit has revealed this to me, I feel I’ve grown spiritually. I’d like to think I will be able to recognize a trial the next time, but I imagine God will outsmart me. He knows what he is doing for us, He leads us through the dark valley.

(This post was inspired by the Magnificat daily meditation for February 14, 2013 regarding carrying our crosses)

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